', As the episode debuted on YouTube, Lele spoke to Entertainment Tonight about the sensitive subject matter, explaining that she chose to open up 'now that I'm not ashamed and embarrassed about having OCD.'. 'Stay uncomfortable. “I was embarrassed for a long time but I eventually realized I needed to come out with the truth to live the healthiest life I could.”. 'She couldn't really function and they were struggling to get her to school, eat, sleep, do any of the basic activities that she needed to do.'. Not act on feelings, and don't be impulsive. Shared experience: The episode also includes a meeting with comedian Howie Mandel, who has been outspoken about his own struggles with OCD, Stories: During their meet-up, Howie told a story about a time he had to check that a door was closed more than ten times, causing him to miss a meeting he was headed to, Looking up to: The pair had met before at a music event, and Lele called him 'the biggest inspiration'. Candid: Lele Pons is opening up about her battle with mental illness, including Tourette syndrome, depression, ADHD, and severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, Close call: In the newest episode of her docu-series, she revealed that she stopped going to therapy and taking medication when she first moved to LA. 'When you have a condition that controls you most of the time, you wish you didn't have that.'. she went on. For example, a drawing of a girl eating pizza meant she wanted to eat pizza. 'Practice frustration tolerance, because I'm so frustrated when I have my OCD and I feel uncomfortable,' she went on. Some help: Eventually, she started seeing Dr. Katia Moritz, a clinical psychologist, who appears in the documentary, Stilling doing it: One compulsion she still performs is turning off the faucet three times after showering, Fun: Lele first started on Vine as a distraction from her OCD and as a way to make friends. Famous: The 23-year-old Venezuelan star has 16.4 million YouTube subscribers and 40.9 million Instagram followers, Real life: She recently revealed that she has been secretly battling neurological disorders for most of her life. 'I just had to touch everything. Sometimes I even get nervous when I say [or] do something two times and I'm like, I need to go back…, 'Everything is so calculated, it's insane. The condition can be controlled and treatment usually involves psychological therapy or medication. The newest episode also tackles her therapy with Dr. Moritz. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. She had really bad experiences in the past, like when she was little with OCD, and people judging her. "Whatever, I can hide it, I can be cool, I don't need the pills, I'm too good for that,"' she said, 'That was my mentality when I reached LA. 'I talk to someone but I repeat myself three times and they don't notice. 'The most important thing is even if you feel good, you also want to prevent things that might happen in the future,' she said, Maintenance: She is no in regular therapy and thinks she has come a long way, Secret: Still, she kept her condition a secret for a long time, and her cousin said she didn't want to be known as 'the famous girl that has OCD', Still, she kept her condition a secret for a long time, and her cousin said she didn't want to be known as 'the famous girl that has OCD.'. 'There are things that you don't want to do, but your brain and your thoughts are telling you to do them. It’s not normal, you know? YouTube star Lele Pons reveals she nearly destroyed her career when she stopped taking her OCD meds and 'spiraled out of control' - leaving her family afraid she'd 'hurt someone' It is not known why OCD occurs but risk factors include a family history of the condition, certain differences in brain chemicals, or big life events like childbirth or bereavement. She said that she has gone into treatment for a month at a time on several occasions and fans don't even notice she is gone because she has content saved up that can be posted while she is away. This can lead the sufferer to commit repetitive behaviors to calm their thoughts. 'People who think that I have the perfect life: Know that I don't have a perfect life,' she said. Scary: In one of the earliest manifestations of the disorder began when she was a child, Lele would feel a need to put a pillow over her head and go a full minute without breathing, Looking back: Her mother said that she first noticed something was wrong when she observed Lele's need to touch three times, 'When I was little, it got to a point where I could not move from the car and I stayed an hour there, doing some rituals ... and my dad had to carry me out of the car,' she said, Stepping in: Her parents realized something was wrong and took her to get professional help. 'I began to know that she had something wrong when she began to touch three times the door of my room, and I [asked] her, why you do that?' She was 'really lonely.'. Eventually, she started seeing Dr. Katia Moritz, a clinical psychologist. It took until the release of this docu-series for Lele to finally share her struggles. But am I embarrassed? 'And if I didn't touch everything, I thought my family was gonna die.'. Adding to her struggle, Lele is the subject of hatred and bullying on the internet, as many public figures and social media stars are. ', She also finds herself comparing herself to other people all the time, and that has made the prospect of being vulnerable and talking about her mental illness especially scary, 'Am I scared to tell people? She was 'really lonely.'. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. And I stopped going to therapy for a year,' she said. “Sometimes we filmed it when I was worse, and sometimes we filmed it when I wasn’t that bad,” she said. Dr. Moritz explained that people suffering from OCD turn to compulsions to stop the bad feelings and thoughts creeping in their heads, because doing the ritual quiets it. And you really, really, truly believe it. she went on. I touch something three times. 'If I made it, I was gonna be happy,' she explained. Obsessive compulsive disorder, usually known as OCD, is a common mental health condition which makes people obsess over thoughts and develop behaviour they struggle to control. Yes. But soon, she spiraled out of control, Memories: She cried remembering how bad it was, but that her fans stuck by her, Tough: Her cousin Isadora Figueroa recalled her 'bawling' one day as her family looked on helplessly. Eat the food that I don't want to but are good for me. Her longtime therapist, Dr. Katia Moritz, told her that things were bad enough that she needed to return home for a month — but Lele refused, insisting she'd 'figure it out'. Naturally, her condition began to deteriorate. 'When I first met Lele, she came in as an emergency situation,' Dr. Mortiz said. It’s a disorder,” she continued. It's just really hard because there's triggers, and in OCD if you are triggered to do something, you have to do it,' she said. 'When I was little, it got to a point where I could not move from the car and I stayed an hour there, doing some rituals and touching things. While Lele named several neurological disorders she suffers from, the premiere episode of the show mostly focused on her OCD, which she has been struggling with for over a decade. “They have always been super vulnerable with me, and this is for them.”. In a good portion of the documentary, Lele talks to the camera without makeup and in sweatpants, making herself appear even more vulnerable as she opens up. For example, a drawing of a girl eating pizza meant she wanted to eat pizza. ', Lele continues to work hard, saying she '[needs] a lot of work' but 'I think I've made a lot of progress.'. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Thought is worse than the deed! 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She said that she has gone into treatment for a month at a time on several occasions and fans don't even notice she is gone because she has content saved up that can be posted while she is away. She tells Dr. Moritz that she needs to do the compulsive action one more time, because she has only done it twice and it needs to be three times. Sleep alone even when you're scared to sleep alone. Lele told her it was one touch for her, one for her father, and one for her mother. The rituals — like cleaning repeatedly or doing an action a set number of times — can become debilitating and take up much of the day, interfering with normal function. 'And it's hard in an industry where every consequences is so high stakes but if she doesn't learn to manage her things, over time she's not gonna be able to achieve the independence and self-sufficiency that she really wants to have for herself. In the latest episode of her YouTube docu-series, The Secret Life of LeLe Pons, Lele reflects on how she stopped going to therapy and taking necessary medication when she arrived in LA, leaving her family begging her to get help. 'People are making hating me cool,' she says through tears. 'I do a lot of touching, a lot of checking, I touch things, everything.' Scary: In one of the earliest manifestations of the disorder began when she was a child, Lele would feel a need to put a pillow over her head and go a full minute without breathing, Looking back: Her mother said that she first noticed something was wrong when she observed Lele's need to touch three times, 'When I was little, it got to a point where I could not move from the car and I stayed an hour there, doing some rituals ... and my dad had to carry me out of the car,' she said, Stepping in: Her parents realized something was wrong and took her to get professional help. And my dad had to carry me out of the car,' she recalled. Busy: She has had an incredible amount of success, but says it wouldn't be possible if she wasn't on medication, Surprise: She said that she has gone into treatment for a month at a time on several occasions and fans don't notice she is gone because she has content saved up that can be posted.

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